It’s starting to get cold here in Buffalo and yesterday I was walking back from my friend’s dorm to my own and I took a second to breath in the crisp air. There is something about cold air that just makes me feel so peaceful in the midst of all this noise. In that brief moment you stop to breath the world seems to stop for a moment and you just feel in control of everything. I stood in the middle of the quad at 11:45 on a Sunday night and just wanted that feeling to last forever.
I’ve been struggling with this idea of “love”. It was in my women’s group this last week that I really started to think about this and how overwhelming this idea was. My friend, Kait, read us a passage many of you are probably familiar with.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
This is something most people huff at because it’s the perfect wedding bible scripture or what people post when they are talking about their boyfriend/girlfriend (which is completely true). I felt the same until I really started thinking about it. The love that is being described in this passage is so much more than what society pins as love. It is so much bigger than me and you and this world. People might think I’m crazy that the love I believe in transcends humans and this universe and is breathing living being that is more than any of us can understand. But I have to because I don’t know what else would keep me motivated in this world that is so harsh. I have to because all this shit we go through has to account for more. I have to because I have felt that peace that fulfills every desire you long for. I have to because every inch of me longs to be loved and to love. I have to.
At a small retreat I recently attended there was a talk by a girl on her journey in college thus far. One of her main points was a quote:
Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.
-Father Arrupe
Being here in Buffalo has been the biggest transformation of my life so far, rightfully so, and in that small moment breathing in the cold air I think I found it. I found love, maybe small but very true.
I have found love in the people I have met here.
I have found love in missing my family.
I have found love in realizing that being unsure is okay.
I have found love in finding beauty in the small moments and letting that be my guide.
I have found love in the feeling of being so completely lost in this world.
I’m 18 years old, I don’t understand love yet, nor do I think I ever will, but I will grab hold of the small pieces I can find and make the most out of it.
And for when music speaks louder than my own words, I leave you with a song by Noah Gundersen:
“I want to learn how to love
Not just the feeling
bear all the consequences
And I want to learn how to love,
And give it all back,
And be forgiven for all I’ve done.”
Until next time,
Daphne.
Some new friends.
Quiet time in the chapel.
Bobby&Grace
You didn't know you were beautiful 
Recent Comments